Lessons from Strangers: Resiliency and the Redemptive Power of Love

I just met two amazing couples who exuded profound joy while canvassing for signatures. They both shared the same “secret” about successful marriages—humility and teamwork.

The wife from the first couple told me that she had to learn overtime not to berate her husband and to let him lead. In return, he told me that he had to step up his game to be the head of the family. The key, they both observed, was giving each other grace, a rare trait in our time where ego has replaced God in most marriages.

The second couple affirmed the same observations. They also noted that the key was to have fun together as much as possible and to encourage their partner when they are going through their moments of darkness. Proving that God speaks to us through strangers, they told me that they found each other after divorce. We joked at the end that just like the movie Shawshank Redemption, it’s necessary to go through miles of manure to find happiness.

The takeaway is that love doesn’t hurt and it damn sure doesn’t leave. Marriage is a blessing when you give your heart to one who loves you as they love themselves but a curse when it’s given to thinks love is all about “me” and forgets about you in the process.

There are many who have been hurt deeply by those they loved immensely only to be harpooned with either malice, indifference or both. The gravest mistake—one that turns an act of betrayal into lasting injury—is to give up on love and become bitter due to unrequited romance.

If they left, good riddance because that was not them hurting you, that was God protecting you. There is a lesson to be learned in all painful experiences. As much as we might want to point fingers when love given is returned with its inverse, the truth is that most of the time we go seeking toxic people due to our own brokenness.

True love appears when we love ourselves fully and acknowledge old traumas that seeped into our psyches and became part of our new normal. Instead of looking for “the one” outwardly, we must find the hurting child within us and acknowledge our unresolved sorrows.

When we do this, the universe responds in kind and sends us love that stays instead of one that betrays. Until then, enjoy the moment, including the sadness, because happiness is only found after dancing with tribulation::

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” ~ Ephesians 4:2


Be With Me